The election is coming
Here in Illinois, a guy named Obama; not an Irish name, an African one (father from Africa, mother from Kansas, Toto) was nominated by the Democrats to run for the Senate. A Borg's ex-husband, Jack Ryan (formerly wed to 7 of 9), dropped out of the race when it was revealed he had lied to party heads about his sexcapades – notably, that he dragged then-wife Jeri (of Star Trek Voyager fame) to sex clubs and wanted to pork her while friends watched, and watch while friends porked her (Me! Me! I'll fuck her for you Jack! You can watch! Jack! Over here!!!)
So the Republicans had to scramble to find a replacement. They had to look all the way to Maryland, and nominate Alan Keyes – a man who has yet to step foot in Illinois.
A wag on the radio said “those Republicans! First they can't find Osama Bin Laden in Afghanistan. Then they can't fine WMDs in Iraq. Now they can't even find a black man in Chicago!”
Today's State Journal Wrapafish has an article about the Republicans' grumbling about Keyes. I found it highly amusing, although I'm sure the editors (and other Republicans) didn't.
They say he is wrong to focus almost exclusively on abortion and gay marriage in his public appearances. They complain that he lets the campaign wander into damaging side issues, particularly his comment that Vice President Dick Cheney's lesbian daughter is “a selfish hedonist”.
Well look, I have to hand it to Keyes here. He had said that homosexual sex isn't sex (and I thought it was only Clinton and the Democrats?) and that gays were “selfish hedonists”. Pointing this out, a reporter had asked him about Cheney's daughter. What else could he do, show himself for the damned liar all politicians are? Of course not, and I salute him. As I laugh.
But even as some Keyes fans acknowledge, voters have been slow to embrace Keyes' lecturing style of speaking and his strong accusations – that Obama supports infanticide, for instance, or that he is a socialist who rejects basic American freedoms.
“It's not your typical neighborly, folksy Midwestern campaign. It can be off-putting at first blush,” said Joe Wiegand, executive director of the Family Taxpayers Network.
Jesus, what do the stupid Illinois Republicans expect, that a guy that lives between the lanes of the Washington DC beltway and lives in Baltimore and who has never ever been in the midwest would have a clue about our culture and sensibilities?
Erm, well, I guess these ARE the same dildos that nominated Bush over McCain.
“He trailed Obama by 51 percentage points in a Chicago Tribune poll conducted in mid-September. Only 44 percent of Republican voters said they intended to support Keyes.”
I laughed out loud.
“The relationship between moral priorities and economics is clear to Americans at the common-sense level,” he said. “They know, for instance, that if you're dealing with problems of welfare and poverty, the chief contributing factor to the inability to get out of poverty is the breakdown of the family structure. That breakdown is related to moral causes.”
There is a lot of truth in that, but what can government do about it? That's right, not one damned thing! Aren't you Republicans all for letting the churches take care of poverty? Then let the churches take care of morality as well. Because, you know, I don't think there are many politicians in heaven.
“Keyes repeatedly has criticized Obama for voting against legislation that required medical care for any baby that survives an abortion.”
That tells me Keyes is talking out of his ass. Do you really think that an abortion survivor is going to become a productive citizen? Common sense tells you if your momma is a crack whore, you're likely to spend most of your adulthood in prison. This ain't rocket science, Alan. I do think, however, that if the fetus is viable, it should live.
“Keyes also has raised eyebrows by saying... that Jesus would never vote for Obama.”
HAR HAR HAR, anybody who thinks Jesus would vote for ANY Republican is whistling past the graveyard. The Republican party platform is decidedly anti-Christ, from its assault on the poor to its warmongering to its worship of the golden calf.
A lawyer asked Christ how to get to heaven. “You know Hebrew law, follow it,” the lawyer was told. “What else do I need to do?” the lawyer asked.
“Sell everything you have and give it to the poor.”
It was, after all, Jesus who said a rich man had as much of a chance of getting into heaven as a camel has of getting through the eye of a needle.
Do you watch the 700 club? Yes? Then you are on your way to hellfire, brother, because Pat Robertson and the rest of the right wing “Christians” are what Jesus called “wolves in sheep's clothing.”
Beware, lest you burn, Mr. Keyes.
In other elections...
Would someone please explain to me why USA Toady gives credence to Nader? He is not on the ballot in all states, unlike the Libertarian. He has less support than the Libertarians.
Could it be that USA Toady wants Bush to win? Naaah....
Next election's debates should have one clear very simple rule as to who would be included: any candidate that is on the ballot in all 50 states. Anybody else has no chance of winning and is merely an expensive distraction.
There has been a K5 article up for a week or so. The Senate, followed by the mainstream media, have sat up and taken notice.
Forget that this smear is as vicious as it is dishonest, and that no U.S. politician has even mentioned the idea of banning the Bible. What ought to anger fair-minded Americans everywhere is that the Bush-Rove team must be convinced that the churchgoing folks of West Virginia and Arkansas are so gullible and so ill-informed that this baseless charge could scare them into voting Republican for Bush-Cheney in order to keep their Bibles.
Tell me, please, just how bigoted and ignorant do George Bush and Karl Rove think that churchgoing voters of Arkansas and West Virginia really are?
West Virginia's senior Democratic senator, Robert Byrd, has it mostly right: “The Republican National Committee is spreading this tripe to smear Democrats, and the president ought to demand that the Republican National Committee apologize to the people of West Virginia.”
More accurately, it is President Bush and Karl Rove who owe apologies to West Virginians and Arkansans, because the Republican National Committee is not by any definition an independent entity. The RNC is under the absolute control of this White House's political office and Karl Rove. That's the way things work in Washington. The only time that either political party's national committee enjoys any independence of action is when that party does not hold the White House.
Oct 04, 2004